Opening up in honesty
Throughout my entire career so far, both in education and professional, procrastination has been a large part of my methods of ‘getting things done’. It is my rule as opposed to exception, that an important paper for school, or a new project for a client is to be started just before it is due. Something I do not hide from others when asked – but do not prefer admitting either, as it feels as a bad thing equally as it is an absolute superpower of mine.
Important papers for school, learning for a test or working on a project are all examples of the things I start and finish just at the right times to be done in the exact minute before deadlines strike. Somehow, there is a force inside me that does have the capability of calculating that starting 3 days prior, resulted in being done at the exact right moment. This has never failed me and always works, even netting me the highest grades in class with seemingly minimal preparation. But while I always felt like I was doing great, it did take a toll on my stress levels. I want to start earlier, and I want to spend more time meaningfully, but my mind does not agree with me.
Add a global pandemic to the mix
To top it off, the last year this has gotten much worse than it ever has been. I feel that I have been less productive and plain lazy. Personally I attribute this mostly to having the ability to work but not to relax due to lockdown restrictions, thus resulting in less willingness to work. For many people the lockdown posed a perfect opportunity to take a step back and work less, focusing more on their wellbeing than on their productivity. A great moment to finally get out of the wrecking work-life inbalance, but not for me. If anything I have gotten less work done, got lost in my social relationships, and scrolled Reddit on average 20 times a day more than I used to. Yet, I actually did get a lot of work done with my Reflective Practice blog as proof. Following the launch of my new maintenance services, product strategy, and taking on much larger (albeit less) projects in the ‘Quality over Quantity’ mindset. In reality, I developed much more over the past year than I ever did in earlier years if looking at the plain data.
So why do I feel so unproductive?
I always have (usually multiple) papers on my desk, to write to-dos down. This paper easily fills up with notes, the occasional doodle, client data and checklists. There is no order, just chaos. While I try to create an order of importance, many tasks do not get checked until to face a deadline.
The mind of a procrastinator
Recently, I watched the great TED Talk “Inside the mind of a master procrastinator” by Tim Urban. While I learned a lot about how I feel through this seemingly innocent video, it made me realise an important thing which Urban also stated in the end of his video. We, as humans, are all procrastinators as we are wired to be this way. Some have a more extreme version of it, but we are all ‘programmed’ to have and make priorities. We just need to learn how to deal with them positively.
Upon further research, I learned that procrastination is an Emotional Regulation problem, as opposed to being lazy or unwilling. Or as Fearless Culture said it: “Research makes it clear that procrastination is a problem with emotional regulation — instead of dealing with our feelings, we avoid doing a task because of how we feel. This turns into a self-defeating strategy. Our emotions won’t run away — we just add more stress as we watch our to-do list piling up.” (2018)
Deep inside, I know that picking up my phone to check Reddit is a coping mechanism and a choice, and not an accident. Avoiding your work is the short-term way of feeling better, but in the end makes you feel worse.
I am not the only one who experiences this. While scrolling Reddit, the “Get Disciplined” forum regularly shows on my screen. A place with likeminded people sharing methods to break out of this lack of discipline (and/or motivation), which has already amassed 788.000 subscribers. Ironic, as the coping method has just become the source of hope.
Being a perfectionist
Something I do not mind admitting (though I normally do not even have to) is the fact that I am a massive perfectionist. I am oriented on the tiniest of details, and do not even want to bother starting something if it cannot be done perfectly to my standards. This only strengthens the so-called “Perfectionism Procrastination Loop”, as not wanting to start due to perfectionism in essence fuels your procrastination habits. It is no wonder that these two character traits are commonly found together, in an effort to from the infinite loop destroying productivity and psyche (Jacobs, 2014).
So what do I do about it?
For the short period I was in the UK, I felt more productive. I woke up in the morning with the purpose of focusing on my work all day, probably because I had way less distractions. It was almost like my ‘cabin in the woods’ to relax. Back in the Netherlands, things are and feel different.
So how do I get over it? I write that first post. I start on that client project early, just so I can be done with it. While I have been at a deep down due to COVID-19 in the past year and still not out of it fully, I am managing and doing it all anyway. Launching new services, and finishing my course from abroad.
Traditionally, I wrote this very post in the morning before school starts again. Thinking about writing it the night before that. Hoping to have one more article by the time I see my lecturer again. Albeit digitally.
So I will make sure I write my next article today. Or maybe tomorrow.
Urban, T., 2016. Inside the mind of a master procrastinator. TED Talk [online]. Available from: <https://www.ted.com/talks/tim_urban_inside_the_mind_of_a_master_procrastinator> [Accessed 20 April 2021].
Razzetti, G., 2018. How to win the emotional battle of procrastination. Fearlessculture.design [online]. Available from: <https://www.fearlessculture.design/blog-posts/how-to-win-the-emotional-battle-of-procrastination> [Accessed 20 April 2021].
Jacobs, D., 2014. Breaking the Perfectionism–Procrastination Infinite Loop. Webstandardssherpa.com [online]. Available from: <https://webstandardssherpa.com/reviews/breaking-the-perfectionism-procrastination-infinite-loop.html> [Accessed 20 April 2021].
Writing this post felt way better than I thought it would.